Swimming Upstream... With the Current

I have been working a lot of overtime lately... Both at home and at work. I barely have a moment to think for myself. The other day when I left work around 6... I was waiting for the bus, when one after another emergency vehicles passed by me. I thought it must be a pretty bad accident... it wasn't until I got home and walked in the front door to see the bridge in the river on our TV that I began to feel the devastating emptiness of catastrophic loss. The bus I ride home turns of about 5 blocks before the bridge. There was a guy that got on mumbling about a tanker on fire and cars about to fall off the bridge, yet there was no stretch of the imagination that could have taken me to the reality of what had really happened... I thought maybe the tanker had crashed and knocked a few cars into the guard rail. I haven't had the heart to go look at it yet. The schoolbus with 60 kids was from the community center 2 blocks from my house, and one of the guys that worked at the Mexican market at the end of my block died in the collapse. It is really a weird feeling to see your neighbors on CNN and larry King Live.
All in all I am just trying to find a space in my life to wrap up all of the research I have done in the past year, in order to write my fellowship essay. The applications will be on Line August 20th and I really want to have a rough draft done by then. Then there is the business of constructing and documenting the actual work, which, considering my overwhelming personal life is actually going pretty well. I have until November. I have learned not to believe in the impossible... Miracles are really where it's at. And I plan to be there when it happens.