Monday, September 24, 2007

Week Three... 45 more days


Life is a beautiful flower rising up out of a snowbank beaming with a radiance bright enough to melt the snow and make the grass turn green...
last weekend I got the fellowship plan portion of the application together.... of coarse when I started typing I realized pretty quickly that it was probably going to be at least 2 pages too long.... thats what I get for thinking so much,!! So this week... lots of editing... Bought the wood sunday for the house frame so this weekend the outdoor construction begins.. and I am working about 12 hours of overtime this week so I will have the money to keep this project alive. Now I understand why when I planned this part of my life while I had my job running with a similarly impossible (you know I don't believe in impossible... but anyway...) deadline to meet. All of the extra hours here are actually a gift to me for my work. Which I am very appreciative for as my financial shoulder generally leans twords survival elements.
Another interesting thing keeps happening... which kind of needs a brief bit of background... Early on in my career... during my Art college years, in trying to understand who I was, and what it meant to be who I was there was a time era where numerology became a concern... I was trying to understand what the significance of the numbers 8 and 5 had on my life... I was born on the 8th day of a month... 5 ??? I don't know... I never really got anywhere with that. So now, all of a sudden during this fellowship planning process, the numbers 8 and 5 are coming up together, over and over, in my writing, on store reciepts, when I sat down and checked the calender to see how much time I had left... Each time it is like a lightbulb going of in my head... I think it was my way of planning to remind myself I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life at this point in time. I can see where without these gentle reminders, I could get overwhelmed and doubt myself. There really are an awful lot of obstacles in the mix.
So today... I will work through another 12 hour work day... and relax... sort of in a round about way... and try to get as much done as I can to pull it all together when I get home, between dinner and dishes and laundry... one of our circuits blew in the house, so these things are a bit more difficult than usual... my house has orange electric cords running everywhere...to the refridgerator TV cable line washer dryer... I had to put the toaster on the kitchen floor this mornig in order to reach an outlet to toast a bagel... I reminded my son that he will never forget his crazzzzzy childhood!! ...all of the day to day gizmos that speed our lives along the super highway of wherever it is we are all supposed to be soooo fast... I do look forward to slowing down a little one day... although honestly... Even though it is not in my nature to sit still... moving at my own speed to the beat of a quieter drum is certainly an appealig notion.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

MJ- I love the 5's and 8's reminding you you're where you're supposed to be.

I'm also finding it slightly ironic that the woman who uses electricity as one of her mediums is blowing circuits. Maybe too much energy is being used to light up those lightbulbs in your head and the house is paying the price. :)